Although these little ‘magical’ devices can be one of the most essential modern day tools and even at times seen as a ‘solution’ to many of our problems, when does the smartphone become the problem? We spoke to Annabelle Knight, sex and relationship expert-influencer, and all round boss lady, to find out more, where to draw ‘the line’.
‘But I’m just replying to…’
Five little words we’ve ALL both uttered and heard. Is there any harm? There’s been a tonne of research on the effect our mobile phones to our relationships, and the knock on effect this can cause on our sex lives. Yes that’s right my friend, your scrolling habits might be affecting how often you’re getting some.
It can’t be denied that few other things kill the mood quicker than the unforgiving glare of a mobile phone; this is now coming to light to be truer than ever with research that is being carried out. Smartphones and tablets are really, quite invasive when it comes to human connection. They also have this uncanny ability to shrink time; a minute looking at your phone can seem like seconds, and can seem like an eternity to someone else waiting for you.
A study published in ‘The Journal Psychology of Popular Media Culture,’ showed that those stating that their partner used their phone too much, reported feeling less satisfied in the relationship, so in a nutshell had feelings of jealousy towards the device. As a result, trusting their partner less.
It’s easy to see why a sense of jealousy levels can be present in relationships where devices take centre stage. If you’re the phoneless one in the situation, then essentially you’re watching your partner nurture and focus on OTHER interests or even relationships right in front of you, whilst ignoring yours. What’s worse is the mindlessly scrolling, and scrolling, and scrolling… all the while you wait, and yearn for their attention. Nobody wants that.
‘The pull’ of the mobile phone is a hard one to resist, after all it’s not the device itself that’s so captivating, but what’s contained within it. Apps are designed very carefully to make a person stay on the app – meaning they develop clever little tricks that make it harder to resist the urge to check your phone. This can be extremely frustrating for a partner who is free from these urges.
So, what exactly can we do!? It’s actually simple once you put your mind to it. Three very straightforward methods: The first: Talk about it (surprise surprise - communication). It’s the best thing you could do; develop a strategy together, which limits phone time and increases ‘us time.’ The second; a technology detox at least once a week. Sundays are usually a great day for this. And finally the third; a silly ‘no phones allowed game’ at significant point in the day when you’re together, like dinnertime. These 3 very simple tips, will definitely help to improve your relationship, and better connect you to you partner, not your phone.
House Summary; So we aren’t saying a glance of a phone when together should be a deal-breaker, however - the bottom line remains that choosing to stare into the blue light abyss, rather than your partner’s oh so beautiful eyes, is simply toxic for your relationship. Pay attention and understand the risks to the relationship; if you do we’re pretty sure you’ll find a deeper love. *Queue Marvin Gaye…
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